Mary’s Story

When my daughter was imprisoned, it came as a shock to all of us. My family didn’t understand what was going on and hounded me with questions that I couldn’t answer. 

My daughter was in prison over 200 miles away from home and I wasn’t given any information; I had so many questions and no way of funding any answers. I didn’t get to speak to my daughter before she was sentenced and had no way of finding out if she was okay. 

I started to search the internet for help, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I managed to find an organisation that supported families and friends where my daughter was, however, they stated they couldn’t help me because I wasn’t local and suggested I look for support closer to home. 

I found an organisation that supported family and friends in the prison closet to me, but they said they couldn’t help because my daughter was not in the prison. They couldn’t sign post me to anyone who might be able to help. 

I was desperate, my family couldn’t help or support me, I was too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone at work, I was on my own trying to come to terms with what was going on whilst trying to learn the prison system and how it works. 

Finally, after months of searching I stumbled across AFFECT and got in touch with them. The initial information they gave me was like a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders. They were able to point me in the right direction so I could contact my daughter, arrange to visit her and other information. 

I was linked with a befriender who called me on a regular basis to see how I was doing and to give me the opportunity to talk without any prejudice or judgment. This allowed me the chance to offload without any fear and the empathy and understanding I received was lovely. 

AFFECT also offers online video meetings where other people in the same position as me can meet, share positives and negatives in a safe environment. This was the first time I had spoken to others about my daughter and whilst I was extremely nervous about the reaction I would get, it was so nice to be able to talk opening about my daughter and the impact what had happened was having on me and my family. 

My daughter is now reaching the end of her sentence, and we are looking towards her release and whilst this is wonderful, it’s also very worrying. Not knowing what’s going to happen next, where my daughter will go on release, what her conditions will be and what, if any support she will receive. 

At the moment I’m lucky because I can contact AFFECT if I have any questions or need any support. If the charity does not receive the funding it needs to continue its work, I and everyone else who relies on their services will be lost and this is a very daunting prospect. 

Society has a negative attitude towards prisoners and therefore are reluctant to offer any financial support, however the friends and family of prisoners are innocent and yet they are treated as guilty which is extremely difficult. 

Members of AFFECT are part of a group that no one would ever willing want to be part of, however the information, support and advice they offer is invaluable and it has helped me to be able to support my daughter and family through the darkest, toughest journey of my life. 

I hope that by telling my story people will realise how vital the work that AFFECT is and how it needs to be able to continue to help people like me navigate through the nightmare that is the prison system.